Feed your black crusty soul with Hagen Daaz this Valentines day

Online grocery delivery service FreshDirect is keeping up the long time honored tradition of cashing in on the miserable and date-less this Valentine's Day. Sound like your kinda gig?

From their website:

"Is Valentine's Day simply a stinging reminder of singlehood, like a coarse-grained sea salt rubbed into your painful, wounded heart? We've got a few ideas on how to ease the suffering. Just check out this handy selection of our favorite items for the brokenhearted. From bitters (to match your mood) to thyme (said to heal all wounds) these items might just cushion the bumpy trip from your blind denial all the way to newfound acceptance of single life."

Why is everyone in America overweight?

They have the foods sorted into different catagories, like denial, anger, depression, and finally, acceptance. Still interested? Get on over to http://www.freshdirect.com/category.jsp?catId=picks_broken&trk=picks and eat your heart out. Your grayish-bluish moldy heart of MISERY!

Oh, come on, lighten up.